The Oxford Dictionary defines the word "Obligation" as: 1.) constraining power of a law, percept, duty, contract, etc. 2.) duty 3.) binding agreement 4.) a service or benefit
In reality, no one wants to feel obligated to do anything. No one wants to do anything out of obligation. No one wants to feel like its their duty to do something. We all desire the idea of..."all of our actions are committed by us out of our own luxury". Truth is, luxury takes sacrifice. No billionaire in the world was born with a billion dollars in their palms. Their sacrifice is a process that they committed to, then made a plan, then executed their plan, and then they achieved their goal of a billion dollars.
**I know I haven't been writing much lately, so I'm pretty sure you're wondering where they hell am I going with this**
My point is this: there is a HUGE difference between doing something out of obligation and doing something out of luxury.
Recently I witnessed a situation where a woman used the word "obligated" in reference to sleeping with a man. When I heard the sentence "I only slept with him because I was obligated to." I was dumbfounded. I actually referred back to my dictionary to get a more thorough understanding of the word "obligate" and all of its variations.
I came to the conclusion that she either/or
a) felt like it was her duty to sleep with him
b) made an agreement prior to sleeping with him that she would, in fact, sleep with him
c) felt like sleeping him would be a service that she was offering for the benefit to the man
hmm...
I considered all of those theories and thought to myself... "BULLSHIT". Yes those excuses may have been scapegoats for her actions but the reality is she made a conscious decision to sleep with a man. A decision that I'm sure she had not made for the 1st time. I mean, honestly, who makes an excuse for sleeping with someone????
a)Married People
b)Prostitutes
c)Whores
d)Idiots
Again, the excuses may be used and possibly validated by one or two of the above choices but not all. A married woman could be on her period during the couples anniversary and not be able to offer her complete self to her husband for sex. She may then feel "obligated" to offer oral sex to her husband. I mean, after all...they are married right? In this situation, the word "obligated" is validated and accepted.
But the way that the woman who sparked this blog post used the word "obligated" does not allow acceptance. Here's why.
She went on a date with the guy. She had food, drinks, conversed, and came to the conclusion that "he wants some ass at the end of this night." Whether or not she is correct doesn't matter. It simply does not matter what a man wants because woman have all of the power
**thats right, I said it!**
Women have all of the power. We can't bamboozle a woman into believing that she should have sex with us. We don't have the Master Yoda Jedi-Mindtrick power to convince a woman to sleep with us. The only way that men are allowed the privilege of sex with women is if God's second greatest gift to earth makes a decision to sleep with us.
*(sorry but music is God's greatest gift to earth. Ask Stevie Wonder...I don't think he gets laid very often)*
Since she used the word "obligated" to gain acceptance for her actions, what happens if she doesn't gain the acceptance that she was seeking?
...
...
As hard as it is for me to admit this but, I have to place her in a class of women that uses such jargon. "Whores and Idiots"...again, here's why.
A woman can sleep with 60 men in a year and no man would care, as long as she is open and honest about it. The second that a woman seeks acceptance for her actions, and tries to mask those actions with excuses and exceptions, she becomes less than a woman. The equivalent to that for men would be like a male making excuses for not taking care of his kids. No woman would ever accept an excuse from a "man" as to why he doesn't take care of his kids. It works the same way for women with sex. You cant just make an excuse and think that its ok. Actually, it was ok with sleeping with the guy before you made the excuse to cheapen and lessen the action. By belittling the action of sleeping with a man, you make yourself appear to be a lesser woman because every woman should care about who they sleep with, and why they sleep with them. Even if the reason is as simple as "I just wanted to get laid".
Who knows, I could be wrong about this. For that I will apologize. Just know that I have given this disclaimer of an apology out of my own luxury.........not out of obligation.
SV
Sonny Vega /// Block Music Boys Ent.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
do you think it's a turn off for a girl (19+) whose never had a boyfriend?
Not really. I think she is far behind the learning curves of relationships
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sonny that questions seems too be like looks or brains what is more valuable in a chick?
it depends on who the man is...i mean every guy is different. to me, the most important thing is neither the looks, nor the brains...it's the charachter, the personality, the heart
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Mars vs. Venus = Tame vs. Change
Mars vs. Venus is a great song by Usher. In fact, it's one of my favorite slow jams by him #RandomPoint #NobodyCares. But unfortunately this post is not as pleasant as the basis of his song.
His song takes the idea of the two different planets, Mars and Venus (aka...man and woman) colliding with each other to make great sex (or some kinda smooth shit like that). But the original Mars and Venus contrast comes from the John Gray book titled "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". The book (and following books in that series) pretty much goes in depth to explain that in relationships, men and women have huge differences in their ways of doing, expressing, and understanding pretty much everything.
Anyone who has been in enough relationships could understand this notion. Let's face it...this isn't an archeological find here people. It's not like I'm saying that you aren't supposed to have differences in a relationship but there has to be a line drawn somewhere, right? We all have have had that significant other that never seems to get "our" side of an argument. At times, that person seems to make the relationship almost or, in certain cases, not worth the trouble of being in it.
....
....
Here is where the duel of "Mars vs. Venus = Tamed vs. Change" happens.
....
....
My belief is that when couples have enough arguments or even simple disagreements, there comes sort of a breaking point that one or both parties reach. That breaking point brings the basics of the relationship to the surface...the Man vs. the Woman, vice verca. The nature of both the man and the woman come out swinging and neither want to back down. The woman's nature is to make the man be less of what his nature is...and the nature of the man is to be more of what his nature is and make the woman become more understanding of his nature. It's quite simple.
Example: A guy likes to hang out with the guys and drink beers and do guy shit like talk about guy stuff that he shouldn't really share with his girlfriend. Some women may want for their man to share the stories but no woman wants the man to do all of the other guy shit, at least not with them. But yet, a woman will complain if she feels like her man is spending too much time with they guys doing this guy shit. Her nature is to ultimately change him from doing all of that guy shit altogether because she doesn't do any of that shit. But, the mans nature is try to tame her from changing him, and try to get her to understand that he needs the guy time just to keep him balanced with his relationship.
The best way to have the duel of tame vs. change is to have that all out argument. If you do that, both the man and woman are going to be honest, just brutally. The 2nd worst way to have this duel is the settling way which is normally done by the man. Ladies, you may not know this but, we settle a lot of arguments with you by just keeping our mouths shut. The worst way of having the battle of tame vs. change is the mischievous way that women do it...unfortunately because women are ever evolving in their diabolical ways of treachery, I am yet to come up with a proper term for it. #Sorry. Women know that p*ssy is power. With that being said, women will use that power to get what they want from their man in matters of their relationship. So fellas, if you are arguing with your lady, and are winning or are right, and then you get some sex...it means you have lost, buddy. You have lost because 99 out of 100 times after you get some mind blowing sex from your lady, you will not soften your position of whatever you where arguing with here about, you will more likely never bring that shit up again because you don't want her to withhold sex from you. Hence: she made you change.
Loser!
Now, there is a way for a man to (as we used to say in the early 90's) flip the script and rewrite it a new. No gentlemen, you could never make her change her mind or her position in the argument, but what you can do is what I like to call...Tame her. When your girlfriend offers you that "Argument Sex" take it, and remind her why you are MAN! By hitting out of the park like Ken Griffey Jr. used to do, you can make her never bring that subject up (until the next argument that you have because women like bringing up old shit). Even when she brings it back up...hit it outta the park further. Sooner or later you will see that, in time, she won't even bring that subject back up...and why? Because she has been tamed.
When I say tamed, I'm sure some women are going to become offended by the phrasing. But ladies, if you have ever settled on an argument that you have brought up twice, you settled because your man is hitting it right. And guys, if you have settled on an argument that she only had to bring up once, then your lady is putting down right. Job well done to those who are handling there business in the sack.
For the record, I will never be changed by any woman...#Sorry just wont happen.
But I have been known to tame a few in my day...#NotSorry
His song takes the idea of the two different planets, Mars and Venus (aka...man and woman) colliding with each other to make great sex (or some kinda smooth shit like that). But the original Mars and Venus contrast comes from the John Gray book titled "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". The book (and following books in that series) pretty much goes in depth to explain that in relationships, men and women have huge differences in their ways of doing, expressing, and understanding pretty much everything.
Anyone who has been in enough relationships could understand this notion. Let's face it...this isn't an archeological find here people. It's not like I'm saying that you aren't supposed to have differences in a relationship but there has to be a line drawn somewhere, right? We all have have had that significant other that never seems to get "our" side of an argument. At times, that person seems to make the relationship almost or, in certain cases, not worth the trouble of being in it.
....
....
Here is where the duel of "Mars vs. Venus = Tamed vs. Change" happens.
....
....
My belief is that when couples have enough arguments or even simple disagreements, there comes sort of a breaking point that one or both parties reach. That breaking point brings the basics of the relationship to the surface...the Man vs. the Woman, vice verca. The nature of both the man and the woman come out swinging and neither want to back down. The woman's nature is to make the man be less of what his nature is...and the nature of the man is to be more of what his nature is and make the woman become more understanding of his nature. It's quite simple.
Example: A guy likes to hang out with the guys and drink beers and do guy shit like talk about guy stuff that he shouldn't really share with his girlfriend. Some women may want for their man to share the stories but no woman wants the man to do all of the other guy shit, at least not with them. But yet, a woman will complain if she feels like her man is spending too much time with they guys doing this guy shit. Her nature is to ultimately change him from doing all of that guy shit altogether because she doesn't do any of that shit. But, the mans nature is try to tame her from changing him, and try to get her to understand that he needs the guy time just to keep him balanced with his relationship.
The best way to have the duel of tame vs. change is to have that all out argument. If you do that, both the man and woman are going to be honest, just brutally. The 2nd worst way to have this duel is the settling way which is normally done by the man. Ladies, you may not know this but, we settle a lot of arguments with you by just keeping our mouths shut. The worst way of having the battle of tame vs. change is the mischievous way that women do it...unfortunately because women are ever evolving in their diabolical ways of treachery, I am yet to come up with a proper term for it. #Sorry. Women know that p*ssy is power. With that being said, women will use that power to get what they want from their man in matters of their relationship. So fellas, if you are arguing with your lady, and are winning or are right, and then you get some sex...it means you have lost, buddy. You have lost because 99 out of 100 times after you get some mind blowing sex from your lady, you will not soften your position of whatever you where arguing with here about, you will more likely never bring that shit up again because you don't want her to withhold sex from you. Hence: she made you change.
Loser!
Now, there is a way for a man to (as we used to say in the early 90's) flip the script and rewrite it a new. No gentlemen, you could never make her change her mind or her position in the argument, but what you can do is what I like to call...Tame her. When your girlfriend offers you that "Argument Sex" take it, and remind her why you are MAN! By hitting out of the park like Ken Griffey Jr. used to do, you can make her never bring that subject up (until the next argument that you have because women like bringing up old shit). Even when she brings it back up...hit it outta the park further. Sooner or later you will see that, in time, she won't even bring that subject back up...and why? Because she has been tamed.
When I say tamed, I'm sure some women are going to become offended by the phrasing. But ladies, if you have ever settled on an argument that you have brought up twice, you settled because your man is hitting it right. And guys, if you have settled on an argument that she only had to bring up once, then your lady is putting down right. Job well done to those who are handling there business in the sack.
For the record, I will never be changed by any woman...#Sorry just wont happen.
But I have been known to tame a few in my day...#NotSorry
when was the last time you read a book and what book was it?
I'm currently reading a book of poetry and sonnets by my former college instructor (and good friend) Tom Yuill. The book is titled "Medicine Show" and it's an awesome collection of his poems. Unfortunately Borders doesn't carry the book, but you can find it at Barnes & Nobles and/or online.
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